Crossroads at the Summit

It was a slightly more than one month ago that I set out for a mountain climbing adventure with my son and 27 other men from my church. Our objective was Uncompahgre, the 6th highest mountain in Colorado. Nestled in the middle of the San Juan range, this 14er did not present significant climbing challenges. It was more a matter of endurance in the midst of the ever changing weather patterns.

Fortunately for us, the sun was bright and the sky blue as we ascended the peak from the Nellie Creek trailhead. I made the summit in good time for my first attempt at a 14er. I was winded and tired but thrilled by the experience. My son Nate hardly broke a sweat, the by-product of endless conditioning through soccer and football, and he showed great patience with me along the way.

Here we are at the summit:

Here is another shot of the panaromic view:

After Nate decided to run down the mountain with another "goat", I made my way back to the trailhead with a steady pace and plenty of time for refection. Here is what I observed through the creation that surrounded me that day:

• Originality is more beautiful than imitation. I saw hues of yellow and purple flowers that will never appear on a color swatch or computer screen. The blue in the sky was not to be copied, only savored.
• Purpose is found in context. The vast valley of meadows has greater impact set against the backdrop of a soaring mountain range. In isolation both are splendid and create nice photographs. In combination they reflect a glory reserved for that moment to create memories in the heart.
• Creation is beyond my understanding but the glimpse at 14,300 feet is simply awesome.

If you get a chance to climb a mountain, don't hesitate. You might just find yourself at a crossroads where you find some answers.

Summer Slumber

I have taken a hiatus from blogging for over a month due to many factors. I plan on returning to The Screwtape Letters and other topics after I climb Uncompahgre this weekend!

Enjoy the rest of your summer.

TSL #5 - The Mercy of War

In TSL #5, we find Wormwood delighting in the development of World War II. He believes this event, the type which leads to the "anquish and bewilderment of the human soul," will draw his subject further away from the faith as evidence by his sleepless nights. But Screwtape reminds him that his real purpose is not temporal discomfort but rather, "the business of underminig faith and preventing the formation of virtues."

And war is often a deterrent, not a catalyst, to that end. In fact, God's mercy can often be found in the battlefield - not because he sanctions violence, but rather, because our hearts are most vulnerable in those moments when we accept our mortality.

As Lewis states, "[i]n wartime, not even a human can believe he is going to live forever."

There are some who suggest that 4,000 deaths in a current conflict are unacceptable. In some respects I agree - even one is too many for the family and friends of that one. But in the midst of crisis and conflict, God prompts us to seek causes and virtures higher than self.

What was the resulft of 9/11? Anger, fear, uncertainty no doubt. But it also brought many individuals to their knees, not just in anquish and despair, but in prayer. Because it is at those moments that God helps us understand these basic truths:

• We are not going to live forever
• Life can be cruel and unjust and painful
• We need a savior and redeemer

So when those sleepless nights come, let us turn to the one whose mercies are new every morning.

Great is Thy Faithfulness, oh Lord our God.

TSL #4 - The Naked Soul

Prayer is powerful.

We may not always recognize or embrace this truth but the enemy does. That is why Screwtape exhorts Wormwood on the "painful subject of prayer." He gives him three strategies for making one's prayer life frustrating, if not futile.

The first strategy is to keep us from understanding the seriousness of prayer. We think reciting basic words is sufficient and that our intelligence or posture have no bearing on the matter.

Likewise, the enemy tries to get us focused on our feelings in prayer, instead of directing our focus to God. His goal is simple.

"Keep them watching their own minds and trying to produce feelings there by the action of their own will. When they meant to ask Him for charity, let them, instead, start trying to manufacture charitable feelings for themselves and not notice that this is what they are doing. When they meant to pray for courage, let them really be trying to feel brave. When they say they are praying for forgiveness, let them be trying to feel forgiveness. Teach them to estimate the value of each prayer by their success in producing the desired feelings; and never let them suspect how much success or failure of that kind depends on whether they are well or ill, fresh or tired, at that moment."

Finally, the tempter wants us to pray to the composite image of God in our mind derived from pictures and paintings and personal experiences, instead of praying to God in all his glory and majesty. But we must persevere to this end because the enemy knows the results of such moments.

"For if he ever comes to make the distinction, if he ever consciously directs his prayers 'Not to what I think thou art but to what thou knowest thyself to be', our situation is for the moment, desperate. Once all his thoughts and images have been flung aside or, if retained, retained with a full recognition of their merely subjective nature, and the man trusts himself to the completely real, external, invisible Presence, there with him in the room and never knowable by him as he is known by it - why, then it is that the incalculable may occur. In avoiding this situation - this real nakedness of the soul in prayer - you will be helped by the fact that the humans themselves do not desire it as much as they suppose."

This brings several thoughts to mind.

Prayer is a personal privilege that God has given to every believer. I know that I have not approached it with the reverence and regularity that it deserves.

Prayer, like faith and obedience in general, is not a pathway to warm fuzzy feelings. It is an encounter with the living, eternal God who created me for my worship and adoration.

Prayer is where I can be completely exposed before my Creator and Redeemer to discover real purpose and meaning in life.

The nakedness of the soul. I pray that our prayers will bring us to that place.

TSL #3 - Daily Pinpicks

In TSL #3, Screwtape encourages Wormwood to manipulate the patient so his behavior does not reflect an increasing standard of faith. In other words, he wants the believer's actions to be disconnected from what he believes, especially toward those with whom he is closest. In this case, it is the patient's mother.

Screwtape's strategy is simple. He wants to create tension between mother and son (or in our case insert any appropriate family member) and "build up ... in that house a good settled habit of mutual annoyance; daily pinpricks."

Satan's methods for creating these "daily pinpricks" are also straightfoward and most certainly devilish.

First, he wants us to think so spiritually that we fail to see our true condition and need for change. As Lewis describes it, this is "the horrow and neglect of the obvious." This is where we become so engrossed in our "spiritual" journey that we fail to see how rude we are to those at work or the degree of our impatience with our children. We think we are suppose to figure out God's will for the next three decades when all our son wants is help figuring out his Algebra homework.

Next, Screwtape wants our prayer life to be so spiritual that we pray for souls but fail to see or meet the basic needs around us. This can happen when we focus on the "inconvenient or irritating" sins of others. Who wants to help someone who is constantly crawling under our skin? Besides, isn't it better to pray that they get better? Another danger is replacing our friends or family members (or church mates - see TSL #2) with imaginary persons. The gulf between the real person and "who they are suppose to be" will often paralyze our prayers, if not petrify them all together.

Another strategy is to constantly remind us of "the tones of voice and expressions of face which are unendurably irritating" to us. This might be the defensiveness in their question or the condescending squint in their eyes. Of course, we never have similar looks or tones. We see life through a window, but never a mirror.

Finally, Screwtapes instructs Wormwood to create a double standard in the mind of his patient. This occurs when we believe our words are never accepted on face value while every word from those around us is laced with offensive if not malicious intentions. An innocent statement is perceived as the most vile attack. Verbal quarrels are never resolved, only justified in each other's minds.

This letter is convicting to the core of daily living.

Too often I let my "spirituality" distract me from the reality of loving those in my life in selfless, practical ways. I forget to view others in Christ as children of God, made in his image, and destined for glory. Instead, I let the daily "pinpricks" of life affect my thoughts, prayers and actions.

TSL #2 - The Pictoral Church

A situation arises in TSL #2 that would seem to negate the need for 29 additional letters.

Wormwood's patient becomes a Christian.

Yet, despite his concern, Uncle Screwtape does not despair. He still sees opportunity to keep the "two-legged animal" in a state of mind far from God. He carefully instructs Wormwood on some of the weaponary at his disposal. In this particular letter, he focuses on distorting our image of the church.

There is no doubt the enemy wants to blind us to the true nature of the Church universal. That last thing he wants us to see, in the words of Screwtape, is ...

"the Church as we see her spread out through all time and space and rooted in eternity, terrible as an army with banners. That, I confess, is a spectacle which makes our boldest tempters uneasy. But fortunately it is quite invisible to these humans."

Instead, the tempter wants us to see an "imperfect" and therefore "irrelevant" church, a view skewed by human pride and mainifested in judgment and self-elevation.

"Your patient, thanks to Our Father Below, is a fool. Provided that any of those neighbours sing out of tune, or have boots that squeak, or double chins, or odd clothes, the patient will quite easily believe that their religion must therefore be somehow ridiculous. At his present stage, you see, he has an idea of "Christians" in his mind which he supposes to be spiritual but which, in fact, is largely pictoral."

So what image of the church do we have? Is is pure or pictoral? Is the body of Christ a family of the redeemed and forgiven or a collection of hypocritical, self-righteous, spiritual wannabes who belong behind us in the line to the throne?

Smugness and humility cannot coexist in the heart of the faithful.

We will never travel far in our journey of faith unless we are willing to cross the threshold from emotion-based imagination to God-spoken truth of who we are in Christ, both individually and collectively as the Church.

Just like Screwtape, the enemy doesn't mind too terribly if our vessel leaves the shore. He is content to simply watch us sail in circles within the visible confines of our familiar past. But that is not where life will be experienced. It will only be endured.

So look around. Are you tired of the shallow harbor? I know I am. The wind is picking up and God is calling me to the deep waters. What about you?

TSL #1 - The Pressure of the Ordinary

In his first letter to Wormwood, Screwtape focuses on two strategies for distracting our hearts and minds to keep us "out of the Enemy's clutches." The first is avoiding "argument" about what is true or false in life. Instead, Wormwood is instructed to help his Patient focus on jargon, or contemporary philosophy.

"Don't waste time trying to make him think that materialism is true! Make him think it is strong, or stark, or courageous - that is the philosophy of the future. That's the sort of think he cares about."

He goes on to state why argument can be such a powerful tool for the believer.

"By the very act of argument, you awake the patient's reason; and once it is awake, who can forsee the result? Even if a particular train of thought can be twisted so as to end in our favour, you will find that you have been strenghtening in your patient the fatal habit of attending to universal issues and withdrawing his attention from the stream of immediate sense experiences. Your business is to fix his attention on the stream. Teach him to call it "real life" and don't let him ask what he means by 'real'."

This is the second strategy - making the faithful get lost in the day to day activities of the present age such that we lose sight of our eternal purpose and destiny. Whenever our life is reduced to the traffic jam on the way to work, or the pending project due by close of business, or our child's soccer game, or the host of other activities that fill our block of hours known as a day, we lose sight of our true purpose; in fact it become difficult for us to accept the reality of anything beyond our dayplanner.

This is the advise of Screwtape to Wormwood:

"You begin to see the point? Thanks to processes which we set at work in them centuries ago, they find it all but impossible to believe in the unfamiliar while the familiar is before their eyes. Keep pressing on him the ordinariness of things."

So what does this mean for us?

For starters, we should not be afraid to wrestle with the reality of truth. In fact, we must challenge the reason of our faith to discover "the universal issues" for which we were created. God welcomes this inquiry for He is pleased to reveal His knowledge and "awaken our reason" to discover our unique, individual purpose.

Secondly, we must not let the day to day become our all in all. The routine and regiment of daily living can be hypnotic, placing us in a trance that mistakes the activities of life for the reason for living. God wants us to seek the extraordinary of what we cannot touch and see. He wants us to experience the "real life."

So the next time you are bumper to bumper on I-35 or racing the clock to finish a proposal for your boss or finding yourself frustrated with the officiating on the field, don't confuse the "pressure of the ordinary" with the purpose of our existence. We were made for experiences beyond those things and moments that simply fill our calendar each day.

Screwtape Revisited

While exploring the Mall of America in Minneapolis this week (which could literally take almost an entire week), I wandered into Barnes and Noble and picked up a copy of The Complete C.S. Lewis Signature Classics. This seven book compilation represents the best from the best. I started on page 179 ... The Screwtape Letters.

I first read TSL as a sophomore in college in 1980. I remember being intriqued with the concept and structure of the book. The storyline centers around a series of letters written from a senior demon, Screwtape, to his nephew, Wormwood, a fledging tempter assigned to an individual identified as the Patient. Through the reverse moral perspective of the demons, Lewis outlines what it means to live out the Christian faith in the small details of life.

TSL was an easy read at that time in my life. But looking back, it was also a book beyond me. My life experiences (or lack thereof) did not allow me to fully grasp and appreciate the principles creatively woven throughout the letters.

It would be like letting your son drive a Porsche on his 16th birthday or take his first date to the Plaza III Steakhouse. He might enjoy the drive or the meal, but the enjoyment would be limited due to his lack of perspective and comparison. As such, it would be wasted horsepower and prime angus. Let him ride around in a clunker for a while and scrape together a few bucks for Taco Bell and suddenly the Boxster and Filet Mignon become more than an event. They are an experience with lasting memory and meaning.

So after 25 years of tooling around in the Christian faith, nibbling on spiritual fast food, I believe it is time to revisit The Screwtape Letters. I plan on blogging through the thirty one letters over the course of the next several months. I hope that the crossroads of the past three decades will radically change my reaction of TSL from an easy read to a life-deepening experience.

I welcome you to join me on this journey with your comments and contributions.

A Severe Mercy

Today is Good Friday, the day that marks the death of Jesus almost two thousand years ago. It is “Good” because of the hope we encounter in this darkest of moments. For it is through his sacrifice that we find true life in God’s forgiveness and redemption.

It might have been the Romans who nailed Christ to the cross, but it was God’s severe mercy that kept him there.

I first became aware of this term in college when I read Sheldon Vanauken’s autobiographical narrative, A Severe Mercy. In this story he shares how God used several events in his life to establish and develop his Christian faith. The most significant and painful was the illness and death of his wife Davy. Their story will be portrayed in the movie A Severe Mercy scheduled for release in 2008.

It’s hard to look at death and be grateful, mostly because our human nature clings to this earthly life as the fulfillment of existence or purpose. But for those who embrace the truth of the cross and the power of the resurrection, we understand that this life is the mere starting point for an eternal destiny. This awareness helps get us through those difficult times of losing a loved one.

My mom passed away almost four years ago. When her leukemia returned after a brief remission, the doctor's prognosis of months quickly turned to weeks. Even when we thought she had days, it turned out to be a matter of hours. I was not able to be at her bedside. In fact, I never got to say good-bye. I felt cheated and angry and alone.

I didn't realize it at the time but that moment was a crossroad for me. Even though I did not have that desired moment of closure with my mom in those last days, I will never forget the last time she said "I love you" on the phone. Her voice was feeble but the words were strong and they mean more to me today than when they were spoken. They compel me to talk more often with my dad and siblings. They remind me to hug my children more tightly and tell them how proud I am of them. They motivate me to love my wife more selflessly with the gift of each day.

Where , O death is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?

I Corinthians 15:55

Today is dark but the dawn of Resurrection Sunday will most certainly reveal the purpose of God’s severe mercy in the death of His son. I wish you His comfort and peace this weekend and forever.

Where Will Life Take You?

Have you seen the new commercial from Louis Vuitton?

Entitled "A Journey," its message strikes a remarkable similarity to my purpose statement in creating this blog. I recommend you watch both the short version (with music and text) and the long version (music only). It is an artful piece that beautifully blends the familiar with the unexpected, creating a sense of calm while leaving you slightly unsettled with its stirring invitation to embrace life as a journey.

Here is the text of the commercial:

What is a journey?

A journey is not a trip.

It's not a vacation.

It's a process. A discovery.

It's a process of self-discovery.

A journey brings us face to face with ourselves.

A journey shows us not only the world,

but how we fit in it.

Does the person make the journey

or does the journey make the person?

The journey is life itself.

Where will life take you?

Of course, the implied message of A Journey is that life will somehow be better with expensive Louis Vuitton luggage and accessories. And it suggests that the destination of the journey is nothing more than the process, life itself. That's where I diverge from the self-oriented pursuit of consumption and the fatalistic end point of a mere earthly existence.

It makes for a great commercial but a lousy afterlife.

In the middle of Holy Week, we must ask ourselves a basic question. What's beyond the grave? If Jesus was crucified on Friday and raised from the dead on Sunday, which I believe He was, then our existence on earth is merely a prelude to something greater. A journey that extends beyond the here and now.

So where will life take you? I hope it takes you to the point where you find that greater something in Christ this Easter season.

Lectures, Lattes and Life

I gave myself a gift today.

In the midst of "Hill Day," spent glad handing legislators at the state capitol in Jefferson City on behalf of proprietary education, I texted my daughter Libby, a sophomore at the University of Missouri in Columbia. I suggested an early dinner on my way back home. She texted back announcing multiple evening activities. We settled on Starbucks. 4:00 pm. 60 minutes.

There are many things I could do with an hour. I could watch my favorite CSI or Law and Order. CVS will develop my digital pictures while I check my blood pressure and attempt to select a shampoo from 25 brands. Running on a treadmill will shed more than 600 calories. However, I chose to sip a skinny caramel latte and listen.

[Side Note on the text messaging. I'm still getting used to this phenomenon. I will call Libby three times with no answer. I send a text message and twelve seconds later I get a three paragraph response in APA format. It is definitely the preferred mode of communication. Personally, the texting experience takes me back to 8th grade typing, where I hunted and pecked on the old Smith Corona manual. Hopefully things will improve tomorrow when I get my new Samsung Blackjack II with a full qwerty keyboard!]

After finding a parking spot by God's grace within one block, we strolled into Starbucks and snagged a window side table. The place was bustling with activity and chatter as students studied and gathered with friends. Sitting across from Libby, I realized how things had changed over the past decade and the difference between an hour with a 9 year old and a 19 year old. Those early years were filled with teaching and correction. Every drive in the car, family meal, or bedtime routine was an opportunity for a lecture. Thousands of them. Of course, this role as parents, in devoting endless energy and effort in instruction, is designed to prepare a child for life and its crossroads. And there is hardly a more complicated or dangerous crossroad than college.

Those initial years away from home are filled with countless decisions, some which are trivial and others that significantly alter your life. One moment you're deciding between saugage and pepperoni at Shakespeares and the next day you're changing your major or accepting a summer internship or developing life long friends. As a parent, you have to sit back and watch your child navigate these crossroads on their own. The time for lectures is over. It's time to listen, so that's what I did.

Over the next sixty mintues, I'd asked a question and Libby would talk. She told me about her Econ class and her foreign instructor who received her US citizenship the previous day. I learned about the intermural basketball game between the undefeated Pi Phis and Thetas. She gave me her read of the political pulse on campus (without me interjecting any opinion) and the ethics discussions in the journalism class. She talked excitedly about her upcoming trip to Europe with Debi but equally about the opportunity to go to Haiti this summer as a family on a short term mission trip. We talked about the orphanage project with C3 Missions in Rwanda and the sermon she heard last Sunday at The Crossing, a terrific church in Columbia. At one point Libby whipped out her Treo and shared an email from Nate than made her smile and laugh and glad to have a brother. She updated me on her friend Jess in California, but quickly glossed over my inquiry of her cash flow and budget, only assuring me her work check next week would help. When I commented on how fast the year was going, she raced through the calendar to her finals in early May and then grew quiet. The thought of being half way through college, she said, was somewhat scary. We both knew what she meant. Adulthood comes fast, along with its crossroads. Like graduation and starting a career and living on your own.

I glanced at my watch and saw that our time was up. It had passed too quickly but was so refreshing. It was the perfect gift. One unplanned, uninterrupted, agendaless, lecture-free hour with my daughter, simply listening, laughing, learning and loving every mintute together.

When I dropped Libby off at her sorority, she came around the car and gave me a big hug, kissed my cheek and said, "Love you Daddy."

That's a moment you can't communicate in a text message.

Spring Update

Spring? Not today. 2 more inches of snow last night! A peaceful welcome to the Sabbath.

Where is Spring?

The past three months have been long and brutal. Twenty-nine days of winter precipitation and multiple nights with below zero temperatures. The bike trail behind our house this morning remained idle except for the die hard runners and those bravehearts who love their dogs more than most. Each day I wonder, when will it end? How long will this go on?

It will probably be longer than I hope but sooner than I deserve.

Life is that way sometimes. We find ourselves in situations that test our patience in light of built up anticipation. A business trip gets extended two days when you were ready to come home yesterday. You finally fill an open vacancy at work to learn that the employee next door has resigned the same day. The credit card from Christmas gets paid and the car needs new tires the next week. The leukemia comes back and the cycle of chemo continues.

Our expectations get sideswiped at the crossroads of life.

It's hard to wait and endure, especially in the most cold and dreary of circumstances. But we must never lose hope that God is with us and His plan is perfect. David struggled with this internal conflict and recorded his thoughts in a blog ... the 13th Psalm:

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

for he has been good to me.

The promise of deliverance may be fulfilled in a day or a year or at the end of a lifetime. But I look at the seasons and find encouragement in each day for tomorrow. Today was no exception.

After a chilly morning, the temperature rose above freezing and the snow line receded. Soon the trail will hold a stream of aerobic activity instead of melting ice. Birds will build their nests once again and squirrels will construct their hickory and walnut condos.

Spring will arrive, unannounced but warmly embraced.

And the Royals will be in first place ... at least on opening day!

The Journey Begins

I have contemplated starting a blog for some time now. But I have been waiting, standing at the crossroads, wondering when and why and where.

Today is the day.

There is no deep explanation to the "when" of February 22, 2008 other than I was encouraged by two sources. My friend Paul recently launched Head and Heart . He is a tremendously gifted leader, communicator and spiritual mentor. Some other friends, Scott and Lynn, chronicled their struggle of faith and hope in the adoption of their son Alec. You should read their story here.

I thought I would join them in this adventure. It's good to travel with good company.

The "why" is more complicated. My daughter, Libby, is a sophomore in college. She just texted me to tell me about a movie she was going to see. I texted back and told her I was creating a blog. Her response was short and to the point. "What? Dad ... what is it for?" I told her it was for "reflections on life," a rather generic and broad interpretation of why. Her immediate response was "Hmm. Interesting. I look forward to reading it." I'm not sure I totally believe her but I'll take it on face value and count my readership at one for the moment.




The "where" is an unknown and that mystery excites me. On a recent trip to Key West, Debi and I had the chance to experience "Sunset Celebration" at Mallory Square. For me, this picture captures the essence of the journey called life as we travel from day to day. This particular day ended with clear skies and glorious rays of orange and yellow dancing on the calm waters. We sat in wonder and savored every passing minute of the setting sun. It was an awesome experience. Yet, every day might not be as beautiful - but it can be blessed. And even through the storms of night we can find peace and comfort in the arms of our Creator and Sustainer.

As I reflect back on that day in Florida, God whispers for me to let out my sails and catch the wind.

Crossroads require a decision.

I have made mine.

It's time for the journey to begin.