Lectures, Lattes and Life

I gave myself a gift today.

In the midst of "Hill Day," spent glad handing legislators at the state capitol in Jefferson City on behalf of proprietary education, I texted my daughter Libby, a sophomore at the University of Missouri in Columbia. I suggested an early dinner on my way back home. She texted back announcing multiple evening activities. We settled on Starbucks. 4:00 pm. 60 minutes.

There are many things I could do with an hour. I could watch my favorite CSI or Law and Order. CVS will develop my digital pictures while I check my blood pressure and attempt to select a shampoo from 25 brands. Running on a treadmill will shed more than 600 calories. However, I chose to sip a skinny caramel latte and listen.

[Side Note on the text messaging. I'm still getting used to this phenomenon. I will call Libby three times with no answer. I send a text message and twelve seconds later I get a three paragraph response in APA format. It is definitely the preferred mode of communication. Personally, the texting experience takes me back to 8th grade typing, where I hunted and pecked on the old Smith Corona manual. Hopefully things will improve tomorrow when I get my new Samsung Blackjack II with a full qwerty keyboard!]

After finding a parking spot by God's grace within one block, we strolled into Starbucks and snagged a window side table. The place was bustling with activity and chatter as students studied and gathered with friends. Sitting across from Libby, I realized how things had changed over the past decade and the difference between an hour with a 9 year old and a 19 year old. Those early years were filled with teaching and correction. Every drive in the car, family meal, or bedtime routine was an opportunity for a lecture. Thousands of them. Of course, this role as parents, in devoting endless energy and effort in instruction, is designed to prepare a child for life and its crossroads. And there is hardly a more complicated or dangerous crossroad than college.

Those initial years away from home are filled with countless decisions, some which are trivial and others that significantly alter your life. One moment you're deciding between saugage and pepperoni at Shakespeares and the next day you're changing your major or accepting a summer internship or developing life long friends. As a parent, you have to sit back and watch your child navigate these crossroads on their own. The time for lectures is over. It's time to listen, so that's what I did.

Over the next sixty mintues, I'd asked a question and Libby would talk. She told me about her Econ class and her foreign instructor who received her US citizenship the previous day. I learned about the intermural basketball game between the undefeated Pi Phis and Thetas. She gave me her read of the political pulse on campus (without me interjecting any opinion) and the ethics discussions in the journalism class. She talked excitedly about her upcoming trip to Europe with Debi but equally about the opportunity to go to Haiti this summer as a family on a short term mission trip. We talked about the orphanage project with C3 Missions in Rwanda and the sermon she heard last Sunday at The Crossing, a terrific church in Columbia. At one point Libby whipped out her Treo and shared an email from Nate than made her smile and laugh and glad to have a brother. She updated me on her friend Jess in California, but quickly glossed over my inquiry of her cash flow and budget, only assuring me her work check next week would help. When I commented on how fast the year was going, she raced through the calendar to her finals in early May and then grew quiet. The thought of being half way through college, she said, was somewhat scary. We both knew what she meant. Adulthood comes fast, along with its crossroads. Like graduation and starting a career and living on your own.

I glanced at my watch and saw that our time was up. It had passed too quickly but was so refreshing. It was the perfect gift. One unplanned, uninterrupted, agendaless, lecture-free hour with my daughter, simply listening, laughing, learning and loving every mintute together.

When I dropped Libby off at her sorority, she came around the car and gave me a big hug, kissed my cheek and said, "Love you Daddy."

That's a moment you can't communicate in a text message.

Spring Update

Spring? Not today. 2 more inches of snow last night! A peaceful welcome to the Sabbath.

Where is Spring?

The past three months have been long and brutal. Twenty-nine days of winter precipitation and multiple nights with below zero temperatures. The bike trail behind our house this morning remained idle except for the die hard runners and those bravehearts who love their dogs more than most. Each day I wonder, when will it end? How long will this go on?

It will probably be longer than I hope but sooner than I deserve.

Life is that way sometimes. We find ourselves in situations that test our patience in light of built up anticipation. A business trip gets extended two days when you were ready to come home yesterday. You finally fill an open vacancy at work to learn that the employee next door has resigned the same day. The credit card from Christmas gets paid and the car needs new tires the next week. The leukemia comes back and the cycle of chemo continues.

Our expectations get sideswiped at the crossroads of life.

It's hard to wait and endure, especially in the most cold and dreary of circumstances. But we must never lose hope that God is with us and His plan is perfect. David struggled with this internal conflict and recorded his thoughts in a blog ... the 13th Psalm:

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

for he has been good to me.

The promise of deliverance may be fulfilled in a day or a year or at the end of a lifetime. But I look at the seasons and find encouragement in each day for tomorrow. Today was no exception.

After a chilly morning, the temperature rose above freezing and the snow line receded. Soon the trail will hold a stream of aerobic activity instead of melting ice. Birds will build their nests once again and squirrels will construct their hickory and walnut condos.

Spring will arrive, unannounced but warmly embraced.

And the Royals will be in first place ... at least on opening day!

The Journey Begins

I have contemplated starting a blog for some time now. But I have been waiting, standing at the crossroads, wondering when and why and where.

Today is the day.

There is no deep explanation to the "when" of February 22, 2008 other than I was encouraged by two sources. My friend Paul recently launched Head and Heart . He is a tremendously gifted leader, communicator and spiritual mentor. Some other friends, Scott and Lynn, chronicled their struggle of faith and hope in the adoption of their son Alec. You should read their story here.

I thought I would join them in this adventure. It's good to travel with good company.

The "why" is more complicated. My daughter, Libby, is a sophomore in college. She just texted me to tell me about a movie she was going to see. I texted back and told her I was creating a blog. Her response was short and to the point. "What? Dad ... what is it for?" I told her it was for "reflections on life," a rather generic and broad interpretation of why. Her immediate response was "Hmm. Interesting. I look forward to reading it." I'm not sure I totally believe her but I'll take it on face value and count my readership at one for the moment.




The "where" is an unknown and that mystery excites me. On a recent trip to Key West, Debi and I had the chance to experience "Sunset Celebration" at Mallory Square. For me, this picture captures the essence of the journey called life as we travel from day to day. This particular day ended with clear skies and glorious rays of orange and yellow dancing on the calm waters. We sat in wonder and savored every passing minute of the setting sun. It was an awesome experience. Yet, every day might not be as beautiful - but it can be blessed. And even through the storms of night we can find peace and comfort in the arms of our Creator and Sustainer.

As I reflect back on that day in Florida, God whispers for me to let out my sails and catch the wind.

Crossroads require a decision.

I have made mine.

It's time for the journey to begin.